The Stories We Tell Ourselves

What if the version of you that you’ve been following…was shaped by fear, not freedom?

We don’t see reality. We see the story we’ve built around it.

That look on their face? You decided it meant they were losing interest.

That silence at dinner? You told yourself they were punishing you.

The delayed reply to your message?

You convinced yourself they were ignoring you on purpose.

Without realizing, you filled in the blanks, not with facts, but with fear.

But what if none of that was true?

The mind needs meaning. It fills in gaps. It protects you. But it also tricks you. And soon, you're not responding to life, you're reacting to your own narration.

Take Ella and Sam. Sam forgot their anniversary. Ella didn’t just feel hurt. She told herself a story: “He doesn’t care. I don’t matter.” The pain wasn’t just about the date, it was about the meaning she gave it. Sam, meanwhile, was under work pressure and hadn’t noticed the day. But now he was being punished for a version of events he wasn’t part of writing.

This is how disconnection begins, not through what’s said, but through what’s assumed. Thoughts aren't the problem. It’s when we believe them without checking. Our inner narrator is convincing but not always kind. And most of its scripts were written in childhood.

In relationship, this gets even messier. You’re not just seeing your partner, you’re seeing them through the lens of old wounds. A forgotten chore becomes “you never help.” A disagreement becomes “you’re abandoning me.” And slowly, you stop seeing what’s real. You only see what confirms your fear.

So how do we shift?

Not by killing the mind. Not by arguing with it.But by pausing. By noticing when a story takes over. By asking: Is this actually true? Or is this familiar?

There’s power in that gap, the space between trigger and reaction. It’s where you reclaim your response. It’s where connection becomes possible again.

We all tell stories.But we don’t have to keep living by the same ones.

Questions to Consider

·      What stories about yourself or others do you often find yourself repeating?

·      How might those stories have helped you feel safer or more in control?

·      Are they still serving you now or are they keeping you from seeing what’s really here?

·      What would change in your life if you no longer believed them?

If this article resonates with something you’ve felt or struggled with, you’re not alone. Sometimes the stories we carry need a safe space to be seen for what they are… not as flaws but as sign posts.

If you’d like to explore this more personally, you’re welcome to book an online session.

Visit www.katinapallaras.com for bookings and for my book Awaken the Heart.