ARTICLES

Katina has published a sequence of articles in the Melbourne Weekly Magazine. A sample of one is included below which speaks of betrayal in marriage.

 

BETRAYAL 

An Affair to Dismember

Loyalty in marriage is a dying quality. There's no doubt that betrayal in marriage is in epidemic proportions. It has become infectious and there are few signs of change.

Faithfulness in marriage is being treated as a bonus rather than a given. Infidelity is like a disease that has spread across generations and consumed our entire culture. Every day, a marriage becomes a divorce statistic. Every day, another child becomes an innocent victim engulfed by its fallout.

An affair may go on for months, even years.  Enormous energy is required to preserve secrecy, arrange discreet meetings and destroy incriminating evidence. Sometimes, partners are oblivious to the infidelity.  Other times partners choose not to confront it. Being suspicious, they believe, is less painful than confirming the truth.

The discovery of an affair hits relationships and families like a nuclear bomb. Lives are turned upside down in an instant. The pain and suffering that follows such confirmation is immeasurable. An overwhelming sense of betrayal follows. Both partners are shattered and struggle to find a flicker of light in what seems a hopeless situation.

Some partners react with shock. Many relationships do not survive. Knowing a partner has been intimate or has feelings for someone else is indigestible. They are slammed into reality, terrified by uncertainty and grief-stricken with loss.

For some partners, healing and forgiveness may take many months and years.  For others, it is impossible. They can never forgive and if they say they do, it is usually with a great deal of caution.

Most betrayed partners are devastated and find the discovery too excruciating to cope with. They feel alone, disillusioned, intense sadness, resentment, humiliation, rage and a host of other emotions all rolled into one. They don't know whether to stay or to leave, have an affair also, be a better partner, get a divorce, go on a diet or just give up! 

The trauma leaves them feeling so totally confused they don't know how or where to turn for help.  They wonder if they are going mad or if there are others who feel the same. They ask if there is someone who will understand or must they face their despair alone? 

 

 

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